Winter Wonderland

Olivia's 1st Christmas was quite remarkable. I was sooo excited for "Santa" to visit my daughter. I'm sure she had no clue what the heck was going on. She would have been happy with me allowing her to pull ornaments off of our tree.....oh but no! We, the parentals, declared that all of her firsts would be spectacular! Christmas certainly to be no exception. I can honestly say I still can't see the floor and the boxes to all the toys, dolls and gadgets are stacked high along the wall so that Tuesday when the trash man arrives he might just have to pick up, dispose and return to get all of my trash. It's truly ridiculous how much stuff is packed for trash. Sorry environment :-)

One view of the bounty

Another viewMy Pooh in her My 1st Christmas pajamas

Aside from the very fact that its Olivia's 1st Christmas, we actually had a lovely blanket of snow on Christmas Day. It actually snowed on Christmas!!!! How special is that? My Mom reminded me that I had snow for my 1st Christmas as well....although I was only 2 weeks old I'm sure I was excited about it. LOL. Here's a pic of the snow from my front door.


Olivia has been in pretty good spirits considering that she has her two front teeth coming in for a grand total of 5 teeth!!!! She's not even 9 months old yet and she has 5 teeth! I feel like she's growing up soooo fast...Geez. I think her gums are bothering her more at night b/c she is not sleeping well. In fact, last night, Christmas night she woke up every two hours. I dosed her up with some pain reliever (which she didn't want to take) and then she seemed to settle and sleep a little better. Its an awful feeling knowing that your child is in pain and there isn't much you can do. It's truly a growing pain. :-(. Better days ahead b/c she will soon be eating her own chicken wings. LOL. My baby doesn't want anything to do with baby food. I mean nothing. The only bit of baby food she gets is when I put oatmeal in her bottle, otherwise she is pretty exclusive on formula. Other than a few bites or tastes of what I'm eating. Table food is her thing. It's sooo cute. She opens her mouth like a little bird when I'm eating. Oh how I love all these tender moments with my girl. In a mere 3 months, she will be a year old....heavy sigh......too fast.

Catching snowflakes

Olivia has dutifully stalked our Christmas tree all day. She finally decided to go for it. This was too cute not to capture.

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8 months old and such a little lady

Miss Anne (Liv's nickname for her busy bodyness) is into EVERYTHING! She's strong and fast so what a combinations. Olivia started crawling at about 7.5 months and it's been on and popping every since. Actually, she'd began pulling herself up even before then. We all were convinced that she would forgo crawling altogether and skip ahead to walking. However, she's doing a combination of the two. She can pull herself to a standing position and if she holds onto the sofa or something sturdy, she can walk along aside it, especially if she sees something that she wants.

Olivia is displaying so much personality and smarts. She's very aware and attentive after her name has been spoken. It's like she's listening to hear what you're saying about her. It's funny. She loves to show her two little tic tacs in the bottom of her mouth. She sprouted those teeth around 7 months and hasn't really teethed since. I guess she's been working on getting mobile. Ha!

Olivia is not all that impressed with baby food. She prefers her bottles most days and I was praying that she'd be consuming less formula and more food. She can have some table food now, but she's drinking about 6-8 bottles a day! Sometimes I feel like she's not eating enough, but then she makes the EXPLOSIVE packages and I know she must be getting just what she needs...LOL

With the holidays upcoming, our house is buzzing with the excitement of a 1st Christmas. We spent Thanksgiving in my hometown of B'ham, AL, but before we left I put up the tree and the Christmas decoration. I love Christmas, I just love it! This time of year is just special and all the more now that I have my baby girl. I'm going to try to to go too overboard with buying things, but I ain't making no promises ;-).

We did a little Black Friday shopping in a new Outlet in Leeds and although I'd set out to "treat" myself to a few things, as is the routine Olivia ends up with 3 bags of clothes from The Children's Place, Gymboree and Carter's....like she needs another item of clothing. I did however find her dress for Christmas pictures which we're taking this Saturday at JC Penny. I'm undecided as to whether I will take a few with her or not, or just let it be her picture on the holiday cards.....decisions, decisions.

Also, I have a birthday coming up, Dec. 9th will be my 33rd!!! No big plans, just probably a spa day and a little retail therapy. It doesn't take a whole lot for me. I'm easy like Sunday morning :)

7 months and 1st Halloween

Ladybug celebrates her 1st Halloween and being 7 months old!!!

She's crying even when she's not crying....

at least in my head. On the very rare occasions that my precious daughter isn't yelling, screaming, whining or whimpering, and is sound asleep in my bed (a post for another day) I still hear her crying in my head. Like now for instance, she's fast asleep and I'm downstairs and I could swear that she's starting to cry. So I go part the way up the stairs to validate what I think I hear and nothing.....all I hear in her ocean lullaby Cd playing.

Does that mean that I'm just wired to respond and expect her to need me even when she doesn't? I feel like I'm always on "pause" never really in a moment, just trying to anticipate her next need/desire. I can honestly admit that I'm struggling to find a balance. Being a Mommy and a woman with her own needs and desires is hard. Anytime that I take the time out to do anything for myself I feel really guilty. Like going to the nail salon, out to dinner with friends, to the hair salon....hell, even to run errands, anytime I'm not with Olivia I feel like she thinks that I've abandoned her. I literally have to talk myself into following through on standing appointments that I have b/c being away from her for 8 hrs at work is a lot. Although I call and check on her twice a day, and I know she's in good, loving, caring hands. I still feel like I should be the one caring for her.

Maybe this feeling will dissipate when she gets older, or maybe it'll get worse.....I dunno. I just know that sometimes I get overwhelmed by it all and welcome the break, guilty feeling and all. Today was one of those days when I really needed some "me time" and I was so glad G was available and willing to let me take it. Whew....who knew that sleep would be a gift and taking a long, hot shower a sweet indulgence?

Wordless Wednesday

Just smiles and pretty girl overload today!

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Happy 6 Months Olivia!!!

6 months old and I am just amazed at how social, attentive and DEMANDING you are! You have definitely decided that your way is the best way and should come first no matter what! You're also full of smiles, exposing your two small pegs at the bottom and you LOVE to jump. You're a little jumping bean in everybody's lap. You've also managed to take over my queen sized bed! You didn't initially care for your walker, but you're slowly starting to warm up to it and have figured out how to push backwards in it but not forward yet. You're eating solids at your Ganny's house and your favorites seem to be squash, green beans and pears (this makes Mommy sooo happy and proud).

You are truly a joy and I could never imagine my life without you in it. As you advance towards becoming a 1-year old, I pray that you continue to be a happy little girl. That's been my prayer for you from the day I found out you were being formed in my womb. I will always be your #1 fan and supporter. I look forward to watching you grow into the amazing young woman that you're DSTined to become! ;-)

Infinite Love,
~Mommy
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Moooove!

Dear Mommy,

I love your bed! I mean I sleep like I'm in the womb when I'm in your bed. There is something so safe and comforting about being sprawled out in your bed. I know sometimes that I edge you out and you nearly fall out the bed, but know that at least I'm sleeping good :) I enjoy our cuddle time too. You're so soft.........did I mention how much I love your bed? You can have my bed if you want.

Wet kisses,
~Olivia
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Cartoon Break

Guess who's 5 months old today.....

That's right, Miss Olivia Gabrielle is 5 months old and I can hardly believe it. I know I say this every month, but its truly amazing to watch my little girl grow up right before my eyes. She's learning so much and is attentive to everything.
Olivia recognizes when her name is called and/or being used in a conversation. Whenever I'm updating her Granny or Dad about something she's done she always looks up at me as if to say "why are you telling my business?" TOO FUNNY!!

Miss Liv just might pull up before she crawls. She loves to be put in a standing position and she nearly leaps off of your leg. I should really be recording this stuff. She's not going to believe me when I tell her this when she's older.

I'm also proud to report that Olivia loves her veggies. She's "officially" eating food! She's still getting her bottles in but we've incorporated green beans, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash and pears into her otherwise liquid diet. She loves it and I'm so happy that she loves her veggies. Hopefully that will last ;-)

STTN is still kinda allusive as she usually wakes at least twice during. Her sleeping through the night is so sporadic that I have to mark the calendar to remember the day. I've started giving her a much heavier night bottle. What I like to call a rice cereal smoothie b/c its thicker than her normal bottle. My baby's belly gets full and she's out cold. Hopefully this will mean a good nights rest for me.........what a treat that would be ;-)
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Thank You Lord for Olivia

Olivia's Christening was last night at church. It was a wonderful blessing to have family and friends present to witness us dedicating ourselves to promoting the spiritual, emotional, educational, physical, financial and social growth of our little princess. Everyday I am thankful to God for the blessing of a healthy, happy little girl. Thank you God for entrusting me with raising your little one to meet Your purpose for her.

The ear piercing experience (pun intended)

Olivia had her 4 month appointment on Friday and it was of course time for her next round of immunizations. In hindsight, I probably should have schedule the ear piercing for another day, a day when she wasn't scheduled to be stuck by needles.

She must have sensed something was up b/c even before her Dr moved towards her with the earring gun, she started to turn it up. She had done soo well during her check-up, but then it all went south. G had the duty of holding her still against her back arching, kicking, screams. It was quite horrible. Had I not been busy taking pics I would have certainly joined her for a good cry.

The end result was a beautiful pair of pink flower earrings on the most beautiful Olivia I've ever known.
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The Wonderful World of OLIVIA!

Besides the obvious irony, I am in love with all things OLIVIA! She's the cutest, most adventurous, smart little....piglet ever! Initially I was not in love with the fact that this OLIVIA was a weird looking pig, but she quickly won us over. My Olivia seems to enjoy watching "same name" on Nickelodeon and so far, the cartoon seems to be pretty wholesome.

The books are great! I recently purchased about six at one time from Borders.com. I am an avid reader and I hope Olivia takes on that same passion. Books are a wonderful mode of escape and creativity. I hope to write a Children's book one day. My Olivia will have all of the OLIVIA books and videos too!

Here's to all the fantastic little OLIVIA's!!

Smooching

I LOVE to smooch my baby. Its how she earned her nickname. She is my Smoochieness and my love for her is really indescribable. What manner of love is this??

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4 months old!!

Every single month I'm just amazed at how fast time seems to be flying these days. My baby is 4 months old today! It's hard to believe the I was laboring with her 4 months ago today, and yet today she's a smiling, playful, beautiful, alert, vibrant, sweet little girl.

Olivia is also starting to teethe (I think) and she does the cutest thing when she's ready to go to sleep. If I lay her down and give her the paci, she will roll onto her side and tuck her hands either under her chin or into the other and goes to sleep. I LOVE IT! I'm just in awe of her everyday. She has also discovered her voice and volume. She's getting LOUDER everyday. I think she's going to be a singer b/c she can hold a note...LOL

To say that I'm a proud Mommy is an understatement. There are truly no words for how much love I have for my sweet babygirl. She is my everything and I am blessed to my her Mommy.

Happy 4 Months Olivia!!

You know you're a Mom when.....

I saw this heading on another Mommy's blog some time ago and have been intending for a while now to post it here too. I think its just amazing how much your life changes, for the better, once you have a little one. Most days its hard for me to even imagine life without Olivia in it. I mean seriously, what was I doing before her? It doesn't matter now for sure because I am just overjoyed to be her Mommy!

Here are a couple of what I call Momisms.......You Know You're A Mommy When....

• Your cellphone is perpetually on vibrate, b/c you would much rather miss a call, than have someone call and wake your sleeping baby.....the one who fought sleep for 2-3 hrs......for example..LOL
• You're the last to: eat, shower, dress, sleep, have clean laundry, etc...b/c you make sure she's attended to first and foremost.
• Getting to the the nail shop, mall, grocery store, gym, hair salon, Girl's Night Out, Date Night, sorority meeting, etc. is a team effort.
• You scarf down whatever you have a few seconds to eat b/c in a few minutes baby will awake and desire your immediate attention.
• Shopping for you totally turns into shopping for her....b/c she certainly needs yet another outfit.
• You've become an online shopping phenom b/c taking baby in and out of the car and stores is just too tedious and much too frustrating for her.
• No matter how sleep deprived you are, when baby she cries at any un-Godly hour, you jump straight up out the bed (automatically), grab a bottle and head into the nursery.
• The excess funds you would have used to shop with now goes into her savings account.
• You're planning her 1st Birthday party (in your head) even though its not for 8 more months.
• You've subscribed to every "parent" type magazine on the market.
• Your baby's poop, slob, vomit, etc landing on your hand, face, clothes, furniture, etc. doesn't bother you one bit.
• You come home from the gym tired and sweaty, but she eats and gets her bath first.
• Hearing, Reading, Seeing something terrible about another child brings you instantly to tears.
• At a moments notice you can whip out at least 3 different current pictures of your baby.
• You don't' see anything wrong with your daughter having 4 different pairs of white sandals of the same size...seriously, what's wrong with that? LOL
• Your daughter's closet rivals most adult women's.
• She is constantly on your mind, and although you know she's in good hands...you still call to check to see how she's during throughout the day.
• You constantly pray for her and ask God to make y'all (yep, I'm a Southern girl) the best parents for her.
• Anything that pertains to her takes priority over everything else.
• You love her intensely and infinitely no matter what.

I'm sure you have a few that you can add, what are some of your Momisms?

Baby Doll

How could anyone not love this little girl?

Liv's 1st Independence Day

Happy 4th of July!!!!!

I HATE TUMMY TIME!!!!

Dear Mommy,

I'm on vacation at my Nana's house and you got me doing tummy time! I don't want to work Mommy, I want to laugh, play, kick and be smooched on. Can't we do this once we get back to Atlanta? You are the best!!

Wet kisses,
Olivia Gabrielle
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3 months old!!!

Dear Smoochieness,

This time 3 months ago I'd been in labor for nearly 12 hours. I was convinced that you did not want to leave the comforts of my womb. All I wanted was to finally see and hold the little girl that I'd incubated and nourished for 9 months.

We were beyond anxious. Your father was soo cool when I told him my water broke and it was time for us to get to the hospital. That all happened soo fast, but I remember it like it happened yesterday.

You have discovered so much about yourself and the world around you in 3 months. You're talkative and your smile just melts your Mommy and Daddy's heart. I love to smooch on you and you've started to allow me this indulgence for nearly a full 5 mins!! How can I not want to nuzzle your neck and kiss those cheeks of yours! You're my Smoochieness.

This past weekend was the first time I've seen you grab your feet and now you're doing it all the time. You started to roll onto your side a few weeks ago and now you're pretty much rolling over completely. That just kinda depends on where you place your arm. Have I mentioned how attentive you are? You always look us right in the eyes and will follow us as far as your peripheral vision will allow. TV is captivating to you these days and I do believe you already have some favorite cartoons; Fenius and Ferb being one of them.

There are going to be so many more milestones and we are looking forward to each and every one of them. Between pictures and video, we have captured your life to this point. I'm so in love with you Olivia and I hope you feel that.

I can't even imagine you not being in my life. You are my sunshine and heartbeat. I love you infinity!!!!

~Mama
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Michael Joseph Jackson: In Memory

It's really hard to believe that it has been a year since the passing of the legendary Michael Jackson. I remember exactly where I was when I got news that he was dead....Wal-mart. Someone called this girl in the same aisle as me and she started screaming and I went to her asked if she was ok and she screamed, "Michael's dead!!!" I was like "Michael who?" and she said Michael Jackson and felt my face just freeze. I was truly shocked because it was honestly one of the last things I'd expected to hear that day.

Michael was without a doubt a phenomenal talent. He's had so much musical success that we can treasure his legacy forever! I wonder if his kids even realize how important a figure MJ was not only for the music scene, but also for the African-American community. I don't think there will ever live a greater talent than Michael's.

The Thriller album was on constant rotation in our house. My mama would put this album on that gigantic, floor model, record player and we'd clean house listening to MJ (yes Mama....I remember that). This was the beginning of my love for Michael. However, my favorite songs cross several albums and include: PYT (Pretty Young Thing), Off the Wall, Rock With You, Don't Stop Til You Get Enough, Annie Are You Ok?, Thriller, I'm Bad, Billie Jean...and the list goes on.

We will make a special effort to share his great music with Olivia. He was the greatest of all time.

STTN

I'm wondering when my little ball of energy, otherwise known as the Sleep Ninja and Ultimate Sleep Fighter, will begin to sleep through the night? Not getting a least 5 hours of sleep is starting to take its toll on me. I'm now forced to drink at least one cup of coffee each weekday morning just to push out the 8hrs of work required of me. This certainly does not include phase 2 of work, which is absolutely most rewarding, when I pick up baby girl from her Granny's house. Can we say WORN OUT!

I thought for certain Sleeping Through The Night (STTN) would have automatically taken place by now but it doesn't look that way so far. Given such, I've made the executive decision to try Liv on a half a teaspoon of cereal in her bottle before bed just to see how long it carries her. I've read mixed reviews on this, and I also have friends who have tried this with their own children and for some it worked and others not so much. Hopefully this have favorable results with Little Miss because Lord knows I could use a good nights rest.

Is your little one sleeping through the night? If so, when did s/he start? Did you do anything to assist this?

ps. I've read BabyWise and The Happiest Baby On The Block books and I can admit that I didn't fully commit to their suggestions....sigh

Happy Father's Day!!

(my two favorite people)

Today is G's 1st Father's Day and Liv and I took him to our fav brunch spot, Murphy's in Virginia Highlands. It was great! Luv their french toast!!

We showered G with a few nice gifts and loving cards. I think he's pleased. He loves his baby girl very much. She is definitely a Daddy's Girl. We love you Daddy!!! ;-)

Pics to come.....
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2.5 Months Old!!

Liv is nearly 3 months old and everyday it seems she's learning new things. Although she hates tummy time (as evidenced by her going completely off), she's actually really good at it. Yesterday she even lifted up her chest!!! A week or so ago she started rolling onto her side!!!! Where is my baby going!!! Next thing we know she will be walking...and we all know that's the end of being a true baby. :-(

Honestly, I have mixed emotions. I'm thrilled that she's developing so well and ahead of schedule, but I'm a little sad that this means she's becoming less and less baby everyday.....and I want her to be my little baby a little longer.
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Whew!!!

Today ends my first, full, official week back at work and it has been a long one! I'm so glad it's Friday that I just don't know what to do with myself. Honestly, it hasn't been all that bad. The hardest part, of course, is being away from Olivia for so long, but the silver lining is that she's either with her Daddy or Granny when she's not with me.

It's nice being a little more adjusted to reality because for me, being a working mother is my reality. While being at home all day with my daughter was great, it's just not my life and I'm ok with that. Being able to provide for her now and in the future is of utmost importance to her Father and I, so we press our way on to work....anyhow..LOL

With such a full life, the little things make me happy. Yesterday, I was able to go and get a manicure/pedicure after work while Olivia was home with Daddy. Today I'm going to get my hair colored and styled. Tomorrow, my girls and I are having an early dinner, drinks and then going to the Maxwell/Jill Scott concert!! I'm sooo looking forward to and in need of some Girlfriend Time! I'm going to glam it all the way up and have an amazing time.

Although I feel guilty for being away from Olivia, I know that I have to strike a balance or else I'll burn out. I am still a woman and there are certain things that I need to do for me (i.e girl nights out, date night, beauty maintenance and wine..LOL). I know that I can't attend everything, or be everywhere b/c she is my first priority, but I'm also NOT Old Mother Hubbard! As the saying goes, "Everything in moderation"

I'm only at the starting line of Motherhood. I will be Olivia's Mother forever and always, even when she becomes one herself....wait....I can't process that thought right now.....ok, that hurt! Too far in the future to even consider...moving on. Every time I look into the sweet face of my child she looks older, more mature to me. Everyday it seems that she's discovering or unlocking something that she can do or understand. She's starting to self-soothe and doesn't require nearly as much assistance with getting to sleep. However, those hands of hers are BUSY! As soon as she gains control of them we will have reached a major milestone. Right now, Olivia's all about talking, kicking and smiling! Ooh her smiles are just.....the most beautiful I've ever seen. I'm not just saying this because she's my child. Her smile is gorgeous. She's happy and a happy baby makes her Mommy's and Daddy's hearts feel blessed.

Watching Olivia discover herself and the world around her is just amazing! Now what was I doing before I became a Mommy?

I'm A Working Mommy

Last Wednesday was my first day back to work since giving birth to Olivia. My co-workers are thrilled to have me back. So much so that they bought me the cake above. I thought it a good idea to make a short work week. Although I only worked 3 days last week it felt like a full week. It wasn't soo bad I suppose, but it was definitely an adjustment. No naps during an 8-hr workday and after getting up through the night with Liv, I was a little exhausted at the end of the day. It also felt weird to be away from her for so long. When I took her to her Granny's house before going to work, I felt sad for having to leave her, but happy that I could leave her with someone who loves her very much.

Tomorrow begins a full work week and I'm just not mentally or physically ready. Liv is still not quite sleeping through the night and sometimes has some difficulty getting back to sleep after taking a bottle. If she's not asleep, then I'm not asleep. But the day goes on anyway. Today, I really wanted to make it to church, but after the night/morning I've had, I knew it wasn't going to happen. I'm sure we'll soon find a rhythm and get in balance soon......at least I'm hoping.

2 Months old!!!

I have a very talkative 2 month old and I am loving her expressiveness! She loves to kick, smile and talk. Olivia is such a doll baby, or my Babydoll as I affectionately call her. I can't believe two months have passed already......wow....time sure flies when you're having fun!
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Crocodile tears

No one ever believes me when I tell them the fight Olivia puts up to avoid sleep. She has been affectionately tagged: "The Supreme Sleep Fighter" and "Sleep Ninja" because she will fight until the end......for hours....literally!

This picture was taken after she's been fighting sleep for approximately 3.5 hrs in the form of crying and fussing. Can you just imagine how much fun I had?????????
**deep, long, exasperated sigh**
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The Balance

Tomorrow I'm due to report back to work from maternity leave. No, I'm not ready. No, I don't want to go back to work, especially not that work. Given that my daughter has a head cold and now G is suffering from similar and worse symptoms, I seriously doubt that I'll make it to that dreaded (albeit necessary) place of employment. My plans were to have won either the Power Ball or Mega Millions lotteries by now so that the thought of returning to work would not have even formed in my brain. Alas, I have not yet won, but I'm not giving up!

G's Mama (otherwise known as Granny Ma) will be caring for the little one once I officially return to the workforce (unless of course I win the lottery or come into some other financial endowments which allow someone such freedoms...yet I digress...). It honestly does not seems natural to leave your child while you go and work. No, I haven't actually taken that action yet, but I anticipate that it will feel wrong...just WRONG! This day has certainly crept upon me. Yes, I knew it was coming but damn, so soon?

The other concern is clothes! I have a few pairs of slacks that I can still wear....barely. It's like my weight has shifted. The baby weight is gone (with no effort on my part)...the weight that remains is weight that I needed to lose even before becoming pregnant. So....I can't blame it on Olivia. I have ideals of making it to the gym, but that's so far fetched these days. If I didn't make it when I was childless, it's going to really take a concerted effort, a team effort even for me to get there now. Happily though, LA Fitness continues to debit my account monthly regardless to whether or not I ever step foot in one of their facilities again. I thought them taking $ out of my account would make me go during pregnancy, but it didn't. I just wanted to sleep and relax. And now guess what....all I want to do is sleep and relax! Ah yes, sleep.....I do have memories of what has become a phenomenon to me.

I'm all over the place in this post. Thoughts are rambling. Mentally attempting to prepare to depart from my child while also running a mental checklist of all that I need to get done today in order to comfortably leave her in her Grandmother's care tomorrow (if I go to work). I thought I'd be more ready for this, but I'm not. I'm sure Olivia will be just fine without me for a few hours, but I'm not so sure I'll be fine without her for 8 consecutive hours.

While I've miraculously managed to remain the only well one in the house, I feel sick at the thought of leaving my family tomorrow. This is just not right! I've got to find the home, life, work balance....and I guess it begins tomorrow.....**deep, long, exasperated sigh**

**Editors Note**
I have decided not to return to work until next Wednesday, June 2nd. I've bought (literally w/vacation days) myself another week so that I can care for my sick and shut-in.

Trying out some new fits, so please stay tuned!

When you hurt, I hurt

My sweet little girl has a head cold. She has been sneezing and snotting since yesterday and I think.....I know its more disturbing to me than it is to her. She's such the little trooper b/c she still manages to smile even though her nasal passages are congested. This is ripping my heart out I swear. I would have a million colds if she could avoid them all together. She's still so little and too new to be going through all this, but Olivia's such a big girl. She endures the bulb suctions that I must do each and every time that she sneezes. I am happy that the snot is clear which means that there is no infection, but I still feel so bad for my baby.

I'm not sure what I can give her since so many of the kids medicines have been recalled....so I'm going to go old-school with a remedy and put some Vicks vapor rub on the soles of her feet and cover them with socks. The Vicks is much to0 strong for her face, but her feet should be just fine. I hope this works so my baby girl can breathe easy. Her little face looks up at me with an expression that says, "I don't feel good mama....fix it." and I plan to do just that!

Mommy's Big Girl!

I'm such a proud Mommy! Olivia slept in her crib for the first time last night for a total of6 hrs!! She only woke up to eat and then back to sleep.....and..she didn't cry during her morning bath like she normally does. So since the goal is to fully transition her into her crib this week, we went out today to get a baby monitor.

This should save me from jumping up and dashing across the hall 1,200 times like I did last night. Its kinda weird not having her right next to my bed, but I know her being in her own room is ultimately best. She's only a few feet away anyhow. Tonight I'll have the monitor to reassure me......that is, after I've rigorously tested it first...LOL.

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Who's Training Who?

As the harsh reality of returning to work looms in the near future, I've renewed my commitment to get us in a daily routine. Because my Precious One is a lot fussy, it's been a huge challenge. I can admit that I don't like to hear her cry; what parent does right? Well I especially don't. It's very unnerving for me, specifically her top-of-the-charts shrills. She belts out like someone is trying to kill her. Little body, BIG voice!

Olivia psyched me out a couple days last week by sleeping nearly through the night. I hopefully thought that we had turned the corner on this up-all-night girl time she and I shared. Alas, not so. It appears it was all an illusion, that, or we've seriously regressed. From birth, Olivia would not really take a pacifier, which was ok with us b/c it was one less habit to have to later break. Well, in the last few days we've been relying more heavily on the paci b/c she's rooting a lot more and seems to get frustrated that she can't open her hand enough to get it into her mouth. She mostly keeps her fists clenched unless she's eating (and getting full) or asleep. I've tried to help her open her fists but by reflex they just close right back up. This frustrates her to no end. So we've been giving her the paci and it's been working.....until she pushes it out of her mouth and then gets mad b/c its no longer there and she wants it. Then we hop up and replace in her mouth and within 5-10 mins, repeat this cycle x 5 and I'd had enough. The last thing I want is her to have a dependence on the pacifier! We were only using it to help her self-soothe, but it doesn't appear to be working.

I have two books that are supposed to give great insights into how to soothe a fussy baby and get them to sleep through the night as a newborn. The Happiest Baby On The Block and Babywise came highly recommended by a number of parents on TheBump.com. It feels as though we've out phased THBOTB b/c Olivia won't stay in her swaddle. The shushing works sometimes and sometimes not. With that, I've moved on to Babywise. It's premise is that the feed/waketime/naptime cycles should be set by the parent and not the infant. Easier said than done, I know. What baby doesn't either fall asleep immediately after eating or want to do so? I thought I could push this philosophy off on Olivia today cold-turkey.....her response...ABSOLUTELY NOT! LOL

Last night was really rough. She was sound asleep in her Pack-N-Play crib in my bedroom while I was downstairs. The minute I walked into the room she started to stir and within 2 minutes was wide awake screaming! This, even after I did my best attempt to tip-toe in MY bedroom and get what I needed and leave. I picked her up and tried to soothe her by rocking her and patting her back. She went fast to sleep. As soon as I tried to put her back in her P-N-P crib her eyes popped open and she had a major meltdown! Rinse and Repeat x 7.....worn out! After several failed attempts I decided to try and slip her into her own crib in the nursery. EPIC FAIL!! Around 6am I threw up the white flag, left her asleep up on my shoulder and got into bed and propped myself up. Did I mention that I didn't get any sleep last night? Oh..ok, just checking.

Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day from me and my favorite girl!!!

1 Month Old!!!

I can't believe that my baby cakes is already a month old yesterday! We were out and about yesterday and finally got to break in her stroller. First, we visited her new baby cousin Ava at Northside Hospital. Olivia and Ava are nearly a month apart. Ava was born April 28th.

Next, we went to dinner at Copeland's. This was our first real outing with Olivia and she did really well. She basically slept the entire time.

Now we're taking a nap (hence yet another picture of Missy Pooh asleep. I assure you, she does have eyes and she occasionally shows them to us ;-p). I was laying here thinking that I needed to do a 1 month old post and put a pic up. I'm going to do a better job of catching her awake, but she's sooo adorable when she sleeps. I love this little girl soooo much.

My baby is a month and a day old.......man, time is flying!!
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Thank You!

I'm a true believer that God always gives us just what we need. After another rough night w/baby girl, I was sooo glad to see Mama B this afternoon. Olivia's paternal grandmother came over today to give me some relief. My darling daughter has been giving me hell these last several nights. I'm not sure whats the cause, but she has been very fussy. Last night was certainly no exception as it took me 3 hrs to get her calm and relaxed enough to get to sleep. She finally crashed around 2:45am. Her eyes would be closed (which I would assume meant she was asleep) and I'd stop rocking and then she'd wake up screaming for dear life! How upsetting this was for me. Unable to console my own child...**tear**. It's been rough, emotionally, rough. I got a migraine last night, hadn't had one of those in a very long time.

I've heard she could be going through a growth spurt. She will be 3-weeks old tomorrow, so I'm hoping we are rounding out the end of these wicked nights together. So little, yet so loud...LOL.
Mama B came right in and sent me up to bed. I got a good 2.5 hr nap but was awakened by Olivia's screams. She likes her food to be ready when she wakes up and I guess Gannyma didn't have that bottle in her mouth quick enough. Spoiled huh? Since having that bottle she's been out cold. Mama B got busy cooking up something that smells amazing! I believe she's making some spaghetti and meat sauce. YUMMY! It's so nice to have her here. I thought I could do it all, but I realize that I can't and her help is exactly what I needed today. I was finally able to fold some laundry that I did for myself (imagine that) from this weekend. I would love to vacuum my downstairs and bedroom. Maybe I'll manage that tomorrow. Baby steps.

Baby talk

I don't know when babies are supposed to start baby talk, but Olivia started this morning. She was laying on my bed awaiting her morning change and wash-up and she just start gurgling out these baby noises...she was talking! I was shocked! So I started talking back to her and it was like we were having a conversation. I talk to her all the time anyway, and I talk to her like she's a little girl and not a baby. Maybe that has encouraged her to put some sounds together. I'm thrilled. My baby is growing up *tear*!!!

Watching you breathe

Dear Smoochie,

The expressions that come across your lovely face during sleep are priceless. I stare down into your bassinet wondering if you're comfortable. Too hot, too cold? I can never tell. Right now you're sleeping in a Onesie and pjs w/the foot out. I removed your socks b/c you're tightly snuggled in your swaddle. They say the swaddle is womb-like so I hope you like being swaddled while you sleep. Sometimes I feel like its a tad bit restrictive and like you want to break free, but again, I just don't know. Maybe one day we'll have a conversation around this. I hope I've made your first 11 days comfortable. I love you with a love that is indescribable! I'm your mother and you're my baby girl. The most special bond on earth and I'm soooo loving it, but especially you!

All my love,
Mama
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Call me Bessie!

It's seriously hard to find time to blog with a newborn baby. In fact, as I'm writing this post I am pumping breast milk for Olivia while she takes a nap. I have got to get on a more regular schedule with pumping b/c my breast are getting lumpy and kinda sore. Even with help here, it's hard to be on a schedule. Olivia's needs really sets the pace of how things will go, everything else happens when it happens.

The "plan" was to exclusively breastfeed her. But finding out that she was low-intermediate w/jaundice sent that plan packing. When we left the hospital 3 days after my c-section, my milk still had not come in completely. A few drops here and there but certainly not enough to nourish my hungry child. So upon the recommendation of the pediatrician at the hospital we started to supplement with formula. Enfamil Lipil has been working well. Slowly, but surely Olivia has weened herself off of her mother's nipple and now I'm pumping using the Medela Pump In Style so that she still gets the same nutrition she would if she were taking it straight from the breast. She's getting the best of both worlds with the breast milk and formula and it has certainly helped to rid her of the jaundice.

Pumping breast milk is truly a labor or love b/c its hella uncomfortable. Maybe my nipples haven't toughened up enough yet, but after having her gnaw on them for her first three days of life I figured they could withstand anything. I do like the Medela Pump In Style, it gets the job done and it comes in a cute little backpack which makes hauling it's accessories around much easier. I have a new appreciation for cows and what they go through to supply milk to the masses. Its still amazes me that my body even produces milk when 10+ months ago it did not. The female body is a mighty wonder!

Miss Olivia Gabrielle

Miss Olivia Gabrielle

March 30, 2010 @ 6:50pm via C-section

7lbs, 5 oz, 19.75 inches

In labor

My water broke around 12:25 am and we made it to the hospital by 1am. I'm on my second dose of Fentanol (sp?) and its helping to curb the pain on the contractions. I'm trying to hold out on the epidural, but we'll see how long that lasts.
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Soooooo Anxious......

I can admit it. I'm soooo anxious and ready to see my baby and hold her and love her and kiss her and be her Mama! I can also admit that after my 38wk doctor's appointment on yesterday I was really disappointed to learn that I'd made no progress towards labor. My cervix is closed and high. Baby girl is in in rush to get here. Sigh. Does she not know how ready we are to meet her finally? It's been 9 long months! Only b/c I know that she's fully developed do I put this demand on her. My mama keeps telling me that I'm closer than I've ever been. Yeah, I get that but it's like being so close yet so far away.

I'm generally not a patient person, so this waiting is kinda a struggle for me. In part b/c I like to be able to plan and control things and when my labor begins is clearly nothing that I can control. This is a great opportunity, I suppose, for me to learn to relinquish my need to be in the know on everything and be in control. Baby girl will be born when its time, when she's ready and I'll just have to accept that I won't know beforehand when that is.....sigh.

If I wasn't being interrogated daily by coworkers and friends, whom I know mean well and only want to share in my joy and excitement, I think I'd fair a little better. If I had a dollar for every time someone said something like, "you're still here?", "when are you due again?", "wow...you're going to work all the way up the day huh?" I could retire a very wealthy woman. I try to just grin and bear it but it's soooo annoying. They just don't know that they are adding to my anxiousness. It's like people don't know anything else to say to me. Like we can't talk about anything but my pregnancy and/or babies. What did we talk about before I announced my pregnancy? I'm still an adult who likes to have adult conversations. Oh well, I give up. Hopefully, my last day at work will be next Friday, Good Friday. Maybe not, it just all depends. I have another Dr's appt scheduled for March 31st. I'll be checked again and again I'll be hoping for some progress. I keep saying that I won't get my hopes up, but I know me better than that.

The upside is that I am not at all worried or scared about giving birth. Maybe I've watched so much "A Baby's Story" and "Deliver Me" on Discovery Health that I feel like I've already experienced giving birth in its various forms. I love those shows b/c they show you the real deal. I do believe that I will have a favorable birth experience. I've been speaking only the positive over myself so that's just what I expect to happen. I don't really have a birth plan, per se, other than to endure the labor up to excruciating pain and then get the epidural. I'm open to doing whatever gets my baby here safely. No, I don't want a c-section, but if that's the best option at the time, then that's just what we'll do. I don't want a vacuum nor forceps, but if those are the cards we're dealt in order to get her delivered safely, then that's what we'll do. My mind is flexible in that regard..LOL. I don't want to be disappointed if things go one way and I expect them to go another.

In my mind, my water breaks, followed by consistent contractions and full dilation. An hour or so later after minimal pushing baby girl is born. See how pretty it is in my world? LOL

Ugggghhh!!!

My hormones must be freakishly in overdrive b/c everybody and nearly everything is getting on my damn nerves! I'm so tired of being bothered with people and their damn questions and wanting to talk and me to listen to their pregnancy stories from yesteryear. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! If one more person walks up behind my desk and says, "you're still here?" I'm going to reply, "No, I'm not here, you're having a hallucination and should probably call EAP and get yourself off drugs!" IDIOT!!! Do you think that I want to be here, at work, of all possible places? Hell No! I don't want to be here when I'm not pregnant much less at this stage of the game. If I could be home, I would be home, but unfortunately I don't have that option right now. If someone would like to "gift" me with some of their vacation time then I'll gladly and gleefully accept and ride off into the sunset. Otherwise, don't ask nor comment on my presence at this place of employment.

Secondly, if this chick sends me one more text asking "How are you feeling?" Listen, you text me twice a week asking me the exact same freaking question and I've given you the same response consecutively, tired, sleepy and ready to have my baby and be on leave. Its pretty safe to assume that's the answer from here on out. Don't keep asking me how I'm feeling!!! I've just started to delete her texts b/c they annoy me and if I respond I'll say something extremely sarcastic and hurt her feelings and that will be that. I just can't! I'm emotionally spent and people are constantly trying to tap the little reserve I have left. What makes it worse, these are all mothers so they should know what the hell the deal is!

Seriously, I wish that I could become invisible at will. I'm sleep deprived and tired, which makes me just a great deal irritable. It makes me not want to answer the phone, respond to an email, attend a meeting, interact w/co-irkers or nothing else I'm paid to do during the day. I have to pull off an 8hr workday on about 3-4 hrs of sleep. I'M NOT EVERY WOMAN, IT'S NOT ALL IN ME! I won't even get into the monotony of the work I do, that's a post for another day. Jesus please be a fence!

I'm not a mean person, but I don't like people invading my space nor my privacy. One lady has spoken to me and chatted it up more in the last 2 months than in the entire 5 years I've been in this department. What is it about a pregnant woman that makes everybody want to Oooh and Aaah? Leave me the hell alone before you make me cuss! SHIT!

37 Weeks = FULL TERM!!!

Wow...we've achieved yet another pregnancy major milestone. We are full-term!! This simply means that if baby girl were to be born anytime from this point on, she's considered a full-term birth although we're not quite at 40wks of pregnancy. Granted, there is obviously a benefit to a baby remaining in the womb for the remaining 3wks, 20 days or however you're counting it b/c its more time for the lungs to mature, but, if she were born today she would still thrive.

I am definitely at the point where I'm anxious. Ready for her to be born, but wanting her to be born when she's supposed to be....if that makes any sense. In other words, I don't want to will her here too soon, but I am so ready to finally hold my baby! Everyone warned me that the last few weeks would feel like the longest and this is soooo true. Luckily, I've had plenty of things to occupy my time but I do often wonder when she'll make her much anticipated appearance.

I'm still receiving gifts from friends and co-workers, which means there is sorting, organizing and laundry to do. I'm trying my best to keep her closet and dresser drawers organized. The child has sooo many clothes and one of my Sorors gave me a bag of clothes this weekend that her daughter has outgrown. There is literally not one single thing that we're currently in need of and that is such a blessing! The waiting is the thing that's going to drive me nuts! I need to know when when is!!! Baby girl knows when her birthday is, I just wish I knew too.

I'm pretty pathetic too. You should see me standing in her nursery, going through her dresser drawers several times reorganizing the very things I just organized a few hours prior. I love smelling her clothes, b/c they smell like baby. Her closet smells like baby too b/c its full of wipes, boxes of diapers and toiletries. Her little dresses are hung so neatly and all of her clothes are organized by size. My child also has several pairs of shoes already....something like 10 pair I believe. If she has a shoe thing, she will have certainly gotten it honest b/c I love shoes, handbags and fashion generally. Hey, I could have worse habits. LOL. Is it wrong to want your child to have the best of everything? I don't think so. I'm not just talking material things either. I want her to have the best health care, education, culture experiences, opportunities, etc. I can speak for G when I say that its truly our life's goal to be the type parents our daughter needs to facilitate her purpose. That's so important to her growth, development and confidence. I know my child has an extraordinary call on her life and it's our job as parents to ensure she reaches it. What an honor to be apart of her life's journey!

how far along? 37 weeks (have I mentioned that enough?) LOL

weight gain? 20lbs

maternity clothes? yes, will I ever want to wear regular clothes again?

how big is baby? About 6.5lbs and 19-20inches

stretch marks? yes, still very faint. My linea nigra is barely visible.

sleep? Sleep has been hit or miss this week. Some days are better than others.

best moment this week? finding out that I was "negative" for Group B strep (this was last week actually) and watching and feeling my baby's movements.

labor signs? not yet

cravings? a large Chick-fil-A lemonade w/the hospital crunchy ice and a Publix Boar's Head 6" sub. Not necessarily together.

belly button in or out? still in

what i miss? sleep

what i am looking forward to? the birth of my beautiful healthy, beautiful baby girl!

weekly wisdom? Patience is a virtue.

milestones? Making it to full-term!!

More on Baby: Congratulations-your baby is full term! This means that if your baby arrives now, her lungs should be fully mature and ready to adjust to life outside the womb, even though your due date is still three weeks away.

Your baby weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel (like a stalk of Swiss chard). Many babies have a full head of hair at birth, with locks from 1/2 inch to 1 1/2 inches long. But don't be surprised if your baby's hair isn't the same color as yours. Dark-haired couples are sometimes thrown for a loop when their children come out as blonds or redheads, and fair-haired couples have been surprised by Elvis look-alikes. And then, of course, some babies spot only peach fuzz.

More on Mama: Braxton Hicks contractions may be coming more frequently now and may last longer and be more uncomfortable. You might also notice an increase in vaginal discharge. If you see some "bloody show" (mucus tinged with a tiny amount of blood) in the toilet or in your undies, labor is probably a few days away-or less. (If you have a heavier spotting or bleeding, call your caregiver immediately). Also be sure to ask your caregiver about the results of your Group B strep culture. That way, if the result isn't yet on your chart when you get to the hospital, you'll be able to give the staff there a timely heads-up if you need antibiotics.

It may be harder than ever to get comfortable enough to sleep well at night. If you can, take it easy through the day-this may be your last chance to do so for quite a while. Keep monitoring your baby's movements, too, and let your caregiver know immediately if you notice a decrease. Though her quarters are getting cozy, she should still be as active as before.

While you're sleeping, you're likely to have some intense dreams. Anxiety both about labor and about becoming a parent can fuel a lot of strange flights of unconscious fancy.